Thursday, June 26, 2008

You Gotta See the Baby

Well, Jamie Lynn had her baby about a week ago, and, to be quite honest, I didn't really have much to say about it. I mean, there were no real surprises. I was glad to see that she got out of that whole "Combine both parents' names to form the baby name" fiasco that her own parents started sixteen years earlier. Right when they confirmed her pregnancy, one of my friends predicted that the name would include "some awful misspelling of a perfectly normal name." Well, call him a prophet and welcome Maddie Briann Spears to the world. Poor kid...she's going to spend her whole life as "Brian," which, coincidentally, is Jamie Lynn and Britney's brother's name, so I guess she's not getting away from the family name thing altogether. But that's what Jamie Lynn chose, and at least it's not Casey Jay, or Jamie Cay, or some other ungodly combination of their two names.

So, no, I wasn't going to blog about this baby. But perusing this morning, I saw a really funny quote from the father's grandmother that leads me to believe that A. This woman is hilarious, and B. This baby is seriously ugly.

According to Grandma Aldridge, baby Spears "has Casey's toes." Don't grandmother's usually say something like "Oh, it's just the most beautiful baby! She's the prettiest little thing you've ever seen!"? Isn't it a bad sign when even Grandma can only think to comment on the baby's toes? This kind of reminds me of when Leah Remini said that Suri Cruise was "a newborn and normal size." Good to know. Sounds adorable.

Now, I'm not going to judge little Brian Spears until we meet him, er, her. I'm just saying, from what I can gather, this baby sounds seriously breathtaking.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Sorry, I know it's a little early for this, but...

I actually have no words.


*Brad Rowe!! Brad Rowe!! That's who we saw.

Monday, June 23, 2008

My apologies...

Long time, no blogging! For the last couple of weeks, I've been on a longggg road trip down the California coast, so my apologies for the lack of postings. But, I made it back, with celebrity sightings to share!

This was my first trip into La La land, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Okay, here's what I was hoping for:, but with celebrities.

Wildlife Safari is a fun-filled family destination where you can view over 500 animals in their natural habitat, roaming freely as they do in the wild!

Now just substitute "wildlife safari" with "Hollywood" and "animals" with "celebrities," and you get the idea. Basically I was hoping it would be one reeeeeeeeally long, live-action "Celebrities: They're Just Like Us!" spread.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. I saw Jay Leno. I saw T.R. "don't use gay slurs around me if you like your day job" Knight of Grey's fame, with his bf in Whole Foods, which was pretty cool. I saw (and hopefully someone can help me with this) that popular television actor from the 90's who starred in multiple failed television dramedies. His claim to fame was basically how strikingly similar he looked to 90's Brad Pitt, and I think his name was Brad too, but I am completely drawing a blank on the last name here. Anyone? Anyone?

Anyway, you can see that, despite hitting up some of the LA hotspots (pinkberry, anyone?), it wasn't exactly a celebrity romper room. Still, it was great fun all around, and I'm a little afraid of what my reaction might be if I were ever to see a celebrity I care greatly about (Brody Jenner, Kelly Ripa, etc.), so it was probably all for the best.

I leave you with this picture of Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia getting it on outside of their respective Heroes trailers. This picture basically begs one question: Why is Milo dressed up like Danny Zuko? I have no answer, my friends. My brain is still on west coast time.

ps- Shout out to Amory for the picture hookup! Miss you girl!

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Good news! Lynn Spears' ever-blogged about parenting book is set for a fall release! I guess now that Britney isn't holding her kids hostage in her bathroom anymore and Jamie Lynn is officially engaged, which is almost as good as being married, which means her child is only 95% bastard, Lynn felt she had regained enough authority on the matter of parenting to go ahead and set that sucker loose.

Wait, wait. Never mind. It's no longer a book about parenting, but rather, according to a spokesperson for the publishing company,

“It’s her story of what it was like being a mom and raising two very famous people. It’s a memoir.”

Interesting, and a smart move, if we're being honest. But here's the real question: Does Jamie Lynn really qualify as "very famous?" I mean, I know her pregnancy caused quite a stir, but I'm pretty sure that was the whole 16-year old thing, not her supposed fame.

It reminds me of a friendly, continuing debate my beau and I are engaged in about which celebrities qualify as A-list, B-list, C-list, and so on. Jamie Lynn, imho, would barely qualify as B-list pre-pregnancy, and I'd say her little bundle of joy scandal has merely secured that B-list position, rather than severely raised or lowered it.

Anywho. I'm glad good old Lynn is getting her book published. It's about time she gain some sort of profit from her daughters' breakdowns. Way to be, Lynn. Way to be.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'll Be Your Friend, Brody

Now that The Hills is a real, bona fide hit for MTV, rest assured that the network will be pounding out spinoffs faster than Angelina pops out her adorable little bastard babies.

First up? Bromance, a not-at-all-homoerotic-sounding reality show in which contestants fight for a spot in the entourage of none other than Brody Jenner. According to MTV,

"Along the way, contestants will be whittled down via "Hot Tub Elimination Ceremonies" after which rejected "bros" will be asked to leave the bachelor pad dripping wet in a swimsuit, luggage in hand. Bringing to mind various dating reality shows, contestants also will have shots at a "group date" and "alone time" with Jenner in every episode."

Call me crazy, but I think this sounds hilarious. It bears striking resemblance to the as-of-yet unaired Paris Hilton BFF reality show we heard so much about a few months back, but I don't mind. I would much rather watch Brody Jenner try to make friends than Paris Hilton, and honestly, after Lo's outright bitchiness, Lauren's jealousy, Audrina's lazy eye (yeah, I said it...girl can't focus worth shit), and Speidi's speidiness, Brody is one of only two regular characters on The Hills who currently doesn't make me want to chew my own arm off and then beat myself with it as I'm watching the show (the other is Whitney, for those of you who can't do the math).

All I'm saying is, this spin-off sounds a lot more Frasier than Joey. But who am I to judge? After all my bitching about Private Practice, it was picked up again for the 2008-2009 season. I guess the public loves a good receptionist/surfer bit.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Another One?

Jesus, what is this, "Fix F-ed Up Celebrities with Babies" week? First Naomi Campbell, and now this? Yep, nothing says mother-to-be like racist versions of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and crack.

Does This Seem Like a Bad Idea to Anyone Else?!?

The idea being, of course, Naomi Campbell birthing a child as a way to "calm down." Apparently, Naomi had some sort of surgery to take care of a physical issue that was preventing her from becoming pregnant, and now says,

"Now I can have a child and I would like one. I’m even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready...I know that with a baby I would change, I’d calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self."

Hmm. Having no children myself, I realize that I'm no expert on the best reasons to have a child, but I think I can safely say that "to change myself" is probably right up there with "to make him marry me," "to keep us from getting divorced," etc. Now, I'm not saying that having a child wouldn't have that effect on Campbell; I'm sure it would, in fact, calm her down a bit. Not that she's the type of person who needs to calm down or anything.

But, I think we really have to ask ourselves, "Are we ready, as a society, for the offspring of Naomi Campbell? Do we need this baby?"

Like a cell phone to the head.