Thursday, May 8, 2008

Summer = Unflattering Bathing Suit Pictures of Celebrities

Now, let me start by saying I totally sympathize with Mischa Barton on the whole "cellulite photos" issue. Would I want some creepface paparazzi stalking me on my Australian vacation, and then selling the pictures, thus prompting the world (aka tabloid magazines) to take note of my "cottage cheese butt" (their words, not mine)? Of course not. Plain and simple, that has to suck.

However, I think there could be silver lining here. After all, it certainly helps Mischa, who, by all accounts is exceptionally beautiful, to appear more human to her public audience. Who knows? Maybe all of this cellulite nonsense will even help her to secure some big time movie role where she get all uglified to play, say, a serial killer or a miner or a sweatshop worker or a fat person, thus securing her Oscar nominee and her role as a Hollywood heavy hitter and, more importantly, a serious actress. For real.

Still, if the cellulite pictures prove anything, it's that Mischa is, after all, only human. And that's why this picture paired with her response statement stumps me. If a set of extremely unflattering pictures of me had just been released around the world, I feel like it would be my natural inclination to spend the next month or so making absolutely sure that I looked smoking hot every time I left my house. That's just human instinct. Self-preservation, etc. Apparently Mischa feels differently. I'm not saying she has to get all dolled up in an evening gown, but Jesus-- high-waisted chinos? Come on, girl. What would Rachel Bilson say?

4 comments:

fancy pantalons said...

Maybe she's smarter than we give her credit for. Note the event to which she wore this: the "Vow Not Now" aka "Don't Be Pull a Jamie-Lynn" fundraiser. I think these pants are a good first step in the campaign, no?

anna said...

Touche, Elyssa, touche. Although I don't think she's smarter than we give her credit for. Even if her family is British.

anna said...

Ha, here's Ali Lohan at the same event. Ten bucks says that's going to be an "ironic" photo within the next two years. Also, DAMN Mama Lohan lets them get their lips done early.

http://icydk.com/2008/05/08/ali-lohan-5th-annual-candies-foundation-event-to-prevent-benefit-held-at-cipriani/

fancy pantalons said...

Yeah, the lips are really, really scary. Like Janice from the Muppets scary: http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/5/50/Janice-MuppetsTV.png