Heidi Montag: Devil? Living Barbie? You decide...

*Warning*

It's still pretty early in the AM, so various aspects of this post might make you throw up in your mouth just a little.

You know, there are a lot of things I don't get about Heidi Montag. For example, I'll never understand why she thought it was a good idea to go from this to this. I mean, I'm sure an 18 year-old boy could tell me why it's a GREAT idea, but honestly, it was a lot easier to tolerate her when she was just a giddy, fresh-faced (albeit flat-chested) 19 year-old.

I also don't get this. Or this.

But here's what I really don't get. There seems to be a huge disconnect between what she says on The Hills, and what she does to get attention. In this new season, it seems like we've heard her complain, usually several times in a single episode, about how she just "doesn't get" Lauren, and the fact that she's still holding a grudge against Heidi. She looks at Audrina with her mouth open (because her mouth is always open) as if completely bewildered, and says things like, "I mean, I'm cool with Lauren. I'm over it. I wish we could all just be cool again. You know?" And Audrina nods back, lazy eye all glazed over, as usual.

But then she goes on the Tyra Banks show to talk about the infamous sex tape, the very cause of much of their strife (well, that, and the fact that Heidi totally sold Lauren out for Jenn Bunny in the second season, which, frankly, I'd still be mad about too).

And then she goes on Letterman to talk about the sex tape.

And then she uses her stepbrother's death to, yet again, vilify Lauren. Seriously, has the girl got no soul?

On a smaller note having to do less with morality (or lack therof) and more with the crime against humanity that is hotpants, I don't get her fashion line. Go here to read the Fug Girls' hilarious recount of their own battle with Heidiwood.

And be sure to pick up the new Rolling Stone, featuring all the girls from The Hills. Seriously, that photoshoot had to be the definition of awkward. Oh, wait. I guess the "Higher" video has already claimed that honor.